Bhaagam Bhag - Don't run too far

Priyadarshan's latest film is a letdown for fans expecting the finesse of Hera Pheri. But why worry about the plot? A slapstick comedy boasting the talents of Akshay Kumar, Govinda (in his comeback role?) and Paresh Rawal has to be entertaining.

A theatre troupe travels to London sans its heroine (Tanushree Dutta). Manager (Paresh Rawal) exhorts heroes Akshay and Govinda to find a new female star for the show. The two set out on a hunt for a good-looking Indian girl who can shake a leg with them.

Enter heroin smugglers (Sharad Saxena and gang), local hoodlums (led by Shakti Kapoor), a woman with suicidal tendencies (Lara Dutta), a non-nonsense police commissioner (Jackie Shroff) and before long our two heroes find themselves running all over the British capital.

Don't bother about the story. The one-liners will suffice. Add some chartbuster songs (Pyar ka Signal, Tere Bin) by Pritam and the sound and sights of London. And your recipe for a Bollywood potboiler is complete.

In the second half, comedy gives way to a murder mystery reminiscent of guess what - Alfred Hitchcock's Vertigo. And does the final scene play out at the Big Ben?

Rating: ***
Remarks: Forget your brains at home, sit back and have some fun. Govinda plays second fiddle to Akshay. And wish there had been more of Tanushree in the film.

2 guys, 3 girls and a mad professor

An absent-minded professor's two daughters meet two interesting young men. Will they get married? Enter a nagging wife, a match-making granny, a prank-loving uncle, and enough twists and turns around the Dadar railway station to keep you laughing till your sides hurt.

Finished this 350-page novel by Dr Ravindra Godse in one day. Easy reading but perhaps not worth it.

Godse's comic plot is interesting enough to keep you turning the pages of this 2003 novel and his Hrishikesh Mukherji-meets-Wodehouse-meets-Comedy-of-Errors style does show occasional sparks of brilliance.

But, and a big BUT at that, spelling and grammatical errors let him down. The novel is replete with it - "the tomorrow", "Woodhouse" (in a reference to Wodehouse) and numerous other examples on almost every other page.

Wonder what kind of coffee was the proof-reader drinking while editing this book at 3 am.

There was some talk of a movie version of 2 guys, 3 girls and a mad professor but I guess it fizzled out.

Rating: ** (because of the errors)
Remarks: Will certainly watch the movie version if it comes out. The plot is pretty interesting.

Sania scripts Hopman Cup dream run

India's fantastic run at the Hopman Cup this week went almost unnoticed by the national media. For a nation that just won the regional tourney to qualify for their debut in the team tennis championship, it was surely a dream run.

The Sania Mirza and Rohan Bopanna combo downed Croatia and Czech Republic 2-1 but fell to Spain to lose out on a place in the Perth final. Spain grabbed the final spot on a better win-loss record.

Sania was the anchor for all the victories, teaming up with Bopanna to clinch the decisive mixed doubles in each tie. Had we had a stronger male player, we could have no doubt done better but even Bopanna's 6-7, 6-7 loss to world no. 9 Mario Ancic (Croatia) was commendable.

Unfortunately, the nation's eyeballs were elsewhere - watching our boys in Blue lose in South Africa.

Florida thief after your pants

He doesn't want your money, your cigarettes or your Rolex watch. All he demands at gunpoint are your trousers. I guess some thieves really do like to keep up with the latest designs. Read more here

Esmeralda needs a knock on the head

Just finished reading The Hunchback of Notre Dame by Victor Hugo.

I had never before read this 19th-century classic - one highly recommended by friends and colleagues. The novel begins on a tedious note but picks up pace after the first 100 pages. Set in the Middle Ages, it tells the story of Quasimodo, a grotesquely deformed bellringer at the Cathedral of Notre Dame de Paris, who falls in love with a beautiful gypsy girl, Esmeralda.

The story ends tragically - perhaps because of one fatal mistake made by Esmeralda when she meets her long-lost mother. She cries out the name of her beloved causing the king's guards to discover her hiding place. Well, Esmeralda certainly has to be the dumbest heroine in English literature (next to Dora in David Copperfield) and she surely deserves a knock on the head.

Rating: ****
Remarks: Be prepared for long chapters on architecture in Paris. And of course get yourself some 'happy' stuff to read or watch after this because the tragic ending might just leave you down in the dumps.

Shilpa Shetty in Big Brother (Day 3)

Click here for the Richard Gere - Shilpa Shetty kissing controversy

Who's the quietest housemate of them all? Well, it certainly isn't Shilpa Shetty.

The desi actress has just been accused of snoring away to glory and keeping the other celebs awake at night.

We must give her credit, though. She's not the worst culprit. Everyone says director Ken Russell is the worst. Disgraced beauty queen Danielle Lloyd has already complained to Big Brother about him.

In his defence, Ken says Shilpa's snoring keeps him awake.

Shilpa: I snore when I'm really tired and my nose is clogged. But I didn't snore.

Ken: You kept me awake for an hour.

Shilpa: But you kept me awake the night before!

The damsel in distress appeals to singer Leo Sayer for help.

Shilpa: Leo, can you comment on Uncle Ken's snoring?

Leo: D flat. Actually, I heard you snoring!

Tough luck for the Indian beauty. More may be in the offing for Shilpa. Housemates have been asked to pack one overnight case each with essentials (read only underwear and socks) for the next three days.

Shilpa's reaction to the possibility of a knicker adventure.

"Oh no, I don't want to go anywhere."

DAILY HIGHLIGHTS of Shilpa's stint on Big Brother
Shilpa wins: The final moments
Day 26
Day 25
Day 24
Day 23
Day 22
Day 21
Day 20
Day 19
Day 18
Day 17
Day 16
Day 15
Day 14
Day 13
Day 12
Day 11: Part Two
Day 11
Day 10: Part Two
Day 10
Day 9
Day 8
Day 7
Day 6
Day 5
Day 4
Day 3
Day 2
Day 1

ALSO READ
SPOOF - Shilpa nominated for Nobel Peace Prize
COMMENT - Of India, Sexual Racism and Shilpa Shetty
ANALYSIS - Racism on Big Brother: Shilpa Shetty to win
FORUM - Racism on Big Brother
Shilpa says Jade's behaviour not racial

VIDEOS
The Best of Shilpa Shetty on Big Brother
And the winner is - Shilpa Shetty
Day 14 - The Jade-Shilpa row
Day 11 - Shilpa in the Jackson Five band
Day 20 - Shilpa's Showgirl routine
Day 19 - Shilpa's Aunt Jameela act

Shilpa Shetty in Big Brother (Day 2)

Click here for the Richard Gere - Shilpa Shetty kissing controversy

Just 24 hours into the show, Shilpa almost fell off her narrow bed thrice. Any chance she's regretting the decision to join Big Brother? But she seems happy enough.

The Bollywood diva joined singer Jo O'Meara in trying to pronounce 'The A-Team' actor Dirk Benedict's name. Apparently, Shilpa's attempts to pronounce 'Dirk' were amusing columnist Carole Malone to no end.

"Dirk? Duck? Deuck?"

"It sounds like you call him Duck," says Jo.

"Duck Benedict. It sounds like a dish," giggles Shilpa. An endearing quality - that of being able to laugh at herself.

But the actress doesn't give up. She asks Jermaine Jackson's opinion. And the trio try out their versions of Dirk's moniker.

When Dirk walks in, he says he prefers Shilpa's accented version of his name.
[Hurrah for Shilpa]

Later in the day, Shilpa turns meditation guru for Carole and filmmaker Ken Russell, the oldest housemate.

But not for long. The trio had only just sat cross-legged on the floor and begun breathing in when Ken suffers a coughing fit.

The impromptu session is interrupted again when Carole complains that her chest hurts.

Shilpa offers a plausible explanation.

"You're not breathing right. We're so occupied with life and the stuff we have to do that we don't breathe."

Hope that satisfied her students.

DAILY HIGHLIGHTS of Shilpa's stint on Big Brother
Shilpa wins: The final moments
Day 26
Day 25
Day 24
Day 23
Day 22
Day 21
Day 20
Day 19
Day 18
Day 17
Day 16
Day 15
Day 14
Day 13
Day 12
Day 11: Part Two
Day 11
Day 10: Part Two
Day 10
Day 9
Day 8
Day 7
Day 6
Day 5
Day 4
Day 3
Day 2
Day 1

ALSO READ
SPOOF - Shilpa nominated for Nobel Peace Prize
COMMENT - Of India, Sexual Racism and Shilpa Shetty
ANALYSIS - Racism on Big Brother: Shilpa Shetty to win
FORUM - Racism on Big Brother
Shilpa says Jade's behaviour not racial

VIDEOS
The Best of Shilpa Shetty on Big Brother
And the winner is - Shilpa Shetty
Day 14 - The Jade-Shilpa row
Day 11 - Shilpa in the Jackson Five band
Day 20 - Shilpa's Showgirl routine
Day 19 - Shilpa's Aunt Jameela act

Shilpa Shetty in Big Brother (Day 1)

Click here for the Richard Gere - Shilpa Shetty kissing controversy

Today, Bollywood actress Shilpa Shetty became the first ever Indian to feature on UK's celebrity Big Brother reality show.

The sari-clad beauty joined 10 other celebrities - Jermaine Jackson (Michael Jackson's brother), model Danielle Lloyd, 79-year-old filmmaker Ken Russell, singer Jo O'Meara and Leo Sayer, actress Cleo Rocos, columnist Carole Malone, rocker Donny Tourette, gay musician Ian 'H' Watkins and Hollywood actor Dirk Benedict - for a three-week stint under one roof.

Her first comment on entering the Big Brother villa was that she'll miss life without her entourage. Shilpa, obviously used to places more roomy, was also distressed by the size of her bed. Talking of beds, there are only ten beds for eleven celebrities which means two unlucky stars have to cozy up in one. But spunky Shilpa managed to grab on to one of the single beds.

Dirk then lectured Shilpa on how "letting go" is the way to live life. I wonder if Shilpa's smile meant she was actually listening to the former A-Team star's philosophy.

The Bollywood siren will also have to prepare for the unexpected. One of the celebrities (not telling you which one) was scandalised by one male co-star displaying his family jewels on Day 1.

As to whether Shilpa would eventually win, the exotic Indian look and our NRI brethren in Britain might just take her places. Keep watching this space for updates.

DAILY HIGHLIGHTS of Shilpa's stint on Big Brother
Shilpa wins: The final moments
Day 26
Day 25
Day 24
Day 23
Day 22
Day 21
Day 20
Day 19
Day 18
Day 17
Day 16
Day 15
Day 14
Day 13
Day 12
Day 11: Part Two
Day 11
Day 10: Part Two
Day 10
Day 9
Day 8
Day 7
Day 6
Day 5
Day 4
Day 3
Day 2
Day 1

ALSO READ
SPOOF - Shilpa nominated for Nobel Peace Prize
COMMENT - Of India, Sexual Racism and Shilpa Shetty
ANALYSIS - Racism on Big Brother: Shilpa Shetty to win
FORUM - Racism on Big Brother
Shilpa says Jade's behaviour not racial

VIDEOS
The Best of Shilpa Shetty on Big Brother
And the winner is - Shilpa Shetty
Day 14 - The Jade-Shilpa row
Day 11 - Shilpa in the Jackson Five band
Day 20 - Shilpa's Showgirl routine
Day 19 - Shilpa's Aunt Jameela act

Rajnikant's French Act

Believe me - one of the biggest French blockbusters this year features Tamil superstar Rajnikant - in kung-fu mode. Read more here