Wanna read this blog in Cockney?

Use the Dialectizer

(Link via Neatorama)

Bikers at Barakhamba

It's 3 am on Easter Sunday. A dozen bikers have assembled at Delhi's Barakhamba Road and I watch fascinated as they put their stunts on display. One by one, the bikers zoom down the deserted street balancing their killer machines on one wheel rather than two.

One daredevil spins around, executing a bike pirouette of sorts with his face a few inches from the road and his arms flailing in the air. Another loses balance but regains control just as the bike ploughs into the median. The biker dismounts with no apparent sign of injury. Like most of his gang, he isn't wearing a helmet.

Half-an-hour later, the last of the bikers vrooms away into the dark. There are no traces of blood on the road, no wailing ambulance sirens and no policemen in sight. I assume it's been an uneventful night.

Happy Good Friday???

K: Happy Good Friday, Tony
Me: What?
K: I said Happy Good Friday
Me: Dude, Good Friday is not Happy Good Friday
K: But it's good, right?
Me: Ya, Jesus saved us from sin so it was kinda good for the world. But he was crucified too, remember?
K: But you call it Good Friday. And confuse the heck out of people
Me: Well, it's good because Christians believe Jesus died for people's sins. And when we remember his death more than 2000 years ago, we are inspired to lead better, sin-free lives
K: But he still died. That's a sad thing, isn't it?
Me: Ya, but sometimes good stuff can come from sad things
K: So why isn't Good Friday happy too?
Me: Are you ever happy when people die? The fact that Jesus died is sad but then Christians believe that good came out of it. But people are happy on Easter, when Jesus rose from the dead
K: So you are saying I can wish you Happy Easter but not Happy Good Friday
Me: Exactly
K: Does it offend Christians if I wish them Happy Good Friday
Me: Not really. It sounds weird though. But I guess you took the trouble to remember it's an important day for us, so I should be happy
K: So you can be happy on Good Friday?
Me: Well, not really. I am fasting today and you are eating icecream. How can that make me happy?

Unhygienic habits, anyone?

Shucks, fat chance of my visiting a dentist ever again

The people God killed deserved it!!!

(Link via Reddit)

Remembering Laurie Baker

The quizmaster looked pleased as he read out his next question 'With which profession is Laurie Baker associated?'. The gaggle of ten-year-olds surrounding him looked nonplussed. Laurie Baker who?

But one bespectacled kid smirked and awaited his turn. His competitors were busy offering guesses. He's a music director, ventured one gangly lad. His plump companion said Baker was an astronaut. Another thought he was a politician.

Soon it was our youngster's turn. "Housing and architecture," he piped up. "Correct," said the quizmaster grudgingly. "Two points to Tony"

Yup, the kid who answered correctly was yours truly. Laurie Baker helped me win that quiz ages ago. And how did I know the answer? It's time now to reveal the secret.

My mom used to work in an architect's office and one day she brought home a magazine with photos of houses designed by an English architect. "This guy builds absolutely amazing low-cost houses in Kerala," said Mom as she watched me set eyes on Laurie Baker's creations.

Baker died on Sunday. May he Rest in Peace.

Green war awaits South Delhi

Are you driving down to the NDTV office in South Delhi? I suggest you stop the car and step outside for a breath of fresh air. Look around you. Can you spot those majestic trees on both sides of the Josip Broz Tito Marg? Well, enjoy the sight while you can. Coz these tree-lined streets, a haven for morning walkers and nature enthusiasts, won't be around for much longer.

The villain of the piece is the High Capacity Bus System (HCBS) corridor, which will wend its way through here in the coming months. 2500 trees, many of them older than your dad, are being felled to make way for it.

Local residents and NGOs have come together under the 'Trees for Delhi' forum to fight Mother Nature's cause. Peace marches are being organised and flyers distributed at the affected spots. All people want is an end to rampant felling of trees and a more environment-friendly solution to constructing the HCBS corridor.

You too can take Mother Nature's side. Sign an online petition here

To know more about the issue, log on to www.treesfordelhi.com

April 2007 Blog Mela: Nominate Now

Did you just come across a quirky, interesting or something-that-tugs-at-your-heartstrings blog? If yes, feel free to nominate it for this month's Blog Mela being hosted here on April 17

How does a Blog Mela work, you wonder. Well, take a peek at the March 2007 Blog Mela

Points to Ponder
- Posts must have been written by Indians or have an Indian angle
- Only posts published between 1-15 April, 2007 would be accepted
- If possible, please nominate individual posts, not the whole blog
- Feel free to nominate something you have written. Immodesty appreciated.
- Only nominations received before midnight on April 15 will be featured
- No, you don't get any moolah for nominating or getting featured in the Blog Mela. That could change once I am a millionaire but for now you'll just have to bear with me
- Yours truly reserves the right to nominate good posts which you ignore

How to Nominate
- Leave a comment on this post OR better still - Mail me at toeknee (at) gmail (dot) com

Wanna Snailmail your Googlemail?

It's been two long months since a torrid affair with your friend's wife ended with her dumping you. Now, all you want is cold-blooded revenge. Relax, Google's there for you.

Just ask Gmail to print out all those scandalous mails she sent you ages ago and deliver it free to her doorstep. And watch her husband clutch at his chest when the friendly Google guy brings him this brutal dose of reality all stamped in trademark red Helvetica. Sweet revenge, huh?

Wouldn't be surprised if a couple of Indian newspapers make Google Paper the number one news in their technology section. All in all, it was one of the best April Fool's Day pranks this year.