I don't believe in stereotypes but some of the things in the following 'forwarded email' do ring true. If you are Bengali, you are free to retaliate with a harangue against Kerala (the state to which I belong). And if you are not, am sure you have a Bengali friend who displays some classic Bengali behaviour. Ki bolchi tumi?
A is for Affice. This is where the average Kolkatan goes and spends a day at work. If he is in the Government, he will arrive at 10, wipe his forehead till 11, have a tea break at 12, throw around a few files at 12.30, break for lunch at 1, smoke an unfiltered cigarette at 2, break for tea at 3, sleep sitting down at 4 and go home at 5. It's a hard life
B is for Bhision. For some reason most Bengalis don't have good bhision. In fact in Kolkata most people wear spectacles all the time. The effects of this show in the city
C is for Chappell. This is the Bengali word for the Devil - for the worst form of evil. In the night, mothers put their kids to sleep saying 'go to bed, or Chappell will come and take you away.'
D is for Debashish. By an ancient law every fourth Bengali child has to be named Debashish. So you have a Debashish everywhere. Sometimes, to be creative they are also called Deb, Debu, Deba with variations like Debnath and Deboprotim thrown in
E is for Eeesh. A common Bengali exclamation made famous by Aishwarya Rai in the movie Devdas. It is estimated that an average Bengali uses eeesh 10,089 times every year. (That's counting eeesh and other eeesh-ish words)
F is for Feesh. These are creatures that swim in rivers and seas and are the favourite food of Bengalis. Despite the fact that fish markets have such strong smells, with one sniff a Bengali knows if a fish is all right. If not he will say 'eeesh what feeesh is theesh!'
G is for Good name. Every Bengali boy will have a good name like Debashish or Deboprotim and a pet name like Shontuda, Montu, and Dinku. Whereas every Bengali girl will be Paromita or Protima as well as Shampa, Champa and Tuktuki. Basically your nickname is there to kiil your good name
H is for Harmonium. The Bengali equivalent of a rock guitar. Take four Bengalis and a Harmonium and you have the successors to The Bheatles
I is for Ileesh. This is a feeesh with 10,000 bones which would kill any ordinary person, but which a Bengali eats with releeesh
J is for Jhola. No self-respecting Bengali is complete without his jhola. It is a shapeless cloth bag where he keeps all his belongings and he fits an amazing number of things in it. Even as you read this, there are 2 million jholas bobbing around Kolkata - and they all look exactly the same
K is for Kee Kando. It used to be the favourite Bengali exclamation till eeesh took over because of Aishwarya Rai (now Kee Kando's agent is trying to hire Bipasha Basu)
L is for Lungi. People in Kolkata manage to play football and cricket wearing it. Now there is talk of a lungi expedition to Mt Everest
M is for Minibus. These are dangerous half-buses whose antics would effortlessly frighten the living daylights out of Formula 1 race drivers
N is for Nangtoe. This is the Bengali word for Naked. It is the most interesting naked word in any language
O is for Oil. The Bengalis believe that a touch of mustard oil will cure anything from cold (oil in the nose), to earache (oil in the ear), to cough (oil on the throat) to piles (oil you know where)
P is for Phootball. This is always a phavourite phassion of the Kolkattan. Every Bengali is born an expert in this game. The two biggest clubs there are Mohunbagan and East Bengal and when they play the city comes to a stop
Q is for Queen. This really has nothing to do with the Bengalis or Kolkata, but it's the only Q word I could think of at this moment. There's also Quilt but they never use them in Kolkata
R is for Rabi Thakur. Many years ago Rabindranath Tagore got the Nobel Prize. This allows everyone in Kolkata to frame their acceptance speeches and walk with their head held high and look down at Delhi and Mumbai
S is for Sardarjee whom Bengalis are very envious of because he is born with a semi-monkey cap on
T is for Trams. Hundred years later there are still trams in Kolkata. Of course if you are in a hurry it's faster to walk
U is for Ambrela. When a Bengali baby is born they are handed one
V is for Violence. Bengalis are the most non-violent violent people around. When an accident happens, they will shout and scream and curse and abuse, but the last time someone actually hit someone was in 1979
W is for Water. For three months of the year, the city is underwater and every year for the last 200 years the authorities are taken by surprise by this
X is for X mas. It's very big in Kolkata, with Park Street fully lit up
Y is for Yastarday. Which is always better than today for a Bengali
Z is for Jeebra, Joo, Jip and Jylophone
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
Popular Posts
-
Perhaps it’s genetic. Maybe I was distracted when the angels were imparting crucial life skills just before pushing us down womb chutes. I m...
-
"Let's drive down to Ahmedabad," said my brother, the driving enthusiast in the family. "Shut up! We’re not going on a ...
-
Meet my friend Internet. He's a fun guy and loves spending time with everyone. And believe me, everyone loves him too. I bet he can brin...
-
Again in Leon . And using the opportunity to brush up my rusty Spanish as we roam the ancient city. A woman on the airport bus correctly gu...
-
Perhaps my most abiding memory of last week's trip to Darjeeling and Sikkim is that of taxi drivers obsessively cleaning their cabs....
-
Woof! My name is Sheena and I live with my mistress in an apartment on the seventh floor. She’s a nice human and I am quite happy living ...
-
When I was growing up in New Delhi, Mona didi was always the cool, big sister -- the better half of the "MonoTony" of neighbourin...
-
It seems hard to believe that just a few weeks ago, before the flash floods hit Kashmir, the Dal Lake in Srinagar was teeming with care...
-
November 1965. The second India-Pakistan war had ended. Mankind had yet to conquer the moon. A group of schoolgirls (seven of them from Infa...
-
4321 by Paul Auster My rating: 4 of 5 stars "4 3 2 1" is the coming-of-age tale of Archie Ferguson, with four dramatically diff...
Just came across this - its really good! Identify with it totally!
ReplyDeletewow!
ReplyDeleteas a bengali,
wow!
you are a friggin retard. get a life...
ReplyDeletesomebody is bitter..
ReplyDeleteI don't know why someone called you a retard, I'm a bengali and I found it to be quite hilarious. I guess they didn't read the disclaimer one top :P. C and D was great dude! but what is "ki bolchi tumi"? Lol! Doesn't make any sense..it would mean "what I'm saying you"
ReplyDeleteHi I am a Bengali. Some of the above are really fun. It sounds Deja vu to me! Cause in Bengal you are so accustomed to see/hear these things... But these stereotypes are very Calcutta centric. You go far from Calcutta, dialects and accents changes drastically and these stereotypes vanishes... Good job though! Thanks!
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
ReplyDeleteFabulous! Or may be I should say 'Bhow!' And that is not the sound of a dog. It's how people in my native land say 'Wow!' :P
ReplyDeleteHi,
ReplyDeleteGreat writing. Above all, sense of humor.
This was a good hilarious to read. I found my colleague as a complete laid-back. Chalo teek hai....
ReplyDeletei was trying to get to understand bengali stereotypes.
ReplyDeletehelps a lot thanks :D
Wow yar! Itna sense of humour kha sy lai ho? I love such type of humour
ReplyDeleteThe comments of Mr Sachin are highly objectionable !!
ReplyDeleteThe moderator of this blog is requested to remove such absolute non-sense and total crap comments by this ignorant fool, immediately.
Done Debanjan
ReplyDelete