The lady from Canada

She was standing at the sales counter when I entered Delhi's Oxford Bookstore. The spitting image of actress Maggie Smith - possibly older but with kinder eyes. And the puzzled look of a first-time visitor to India.

She clutched the latest bestsellers in her wrinkled hands, possibly reading material for her journey back to the UK or wherever she came from.

I don't normally start conversations with old ladies at bookstores but then she glanced at me as I came near and gave me an endearing smile. I had to say something.

Me: Are books cheaper here in India?
Lady: (smiles) Not at all, they are much cheaper in Canada. (pause) That's where I live. Why are you so tall? I have a crick in my neck already.

She looks at my face and then at my hands. Empty.

Lady: Young man, are you buying any books?
Me: Well, actually I am placing an order for the latest Harry Potter book
Lady: (looking at me strangely) My grandchildren read Harry Potter
Me: (blushing) Well..um..it's actually for this friend of mine who's crazy about it. I would never buy something like this
Lady: (chuckling) It's okay. I read them too.
Me: No, really I don't...
Lady: Listen young man, can you help me out. My husband and I are looking for a chemist. Isn't that what you call a medical store in India?
Me: Sure, I think there's one not too far from here
Lady: Great! Could you give me directions. My driver is waiting outside - we just wanted to pick up some books first. Can you believe he didn't know where Oxford Bookstore was? We had to ask passers-by for directions.
Me: Most people don't know. This building is known as Statesman House.

Pre-order form signed, I turned to leave. She stood there - waiting for her husband. I spot him in the distance looking at something in the magazine section.

Lady: (smiling) Hope you have fun reading Harry Potter
Me: (protesting) It's not for me...
Lady: Whatever! It was nice meeting you
Me: Was nice meeting you too

At the entrance, I glance back. She was looking at me, smile still intact and her wrinkles uplifted. I couldn't help smiling too.

[Place a pre-order for Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows - Book releases July 21, 2007]

May 2007 Blog Mela: Nominate Now

Did you just come across a quirky, interesting or something-that-tugs-at-your-heartstrings blog? If yes, feel free to nominate it for this month's Blog Mela being hosted here on May 26

How does a Blog Mela work, you wonder. Well, take a peek at the March 2007 Blog Mela or the April 2007 Blog Mela

Points to Ponder
- Posts must have been written by Indians or have an Indian angle
- Only posts published between 1-22 May, 2007 would be accepted
- If possible, please nominate individual posts, not the whole blog
- Feel free to nominate something you have written. Immodesty appreciated.
- Only nominations received before midnight on May 22 will be featured
- No, you don't get any moolah for nominating or getting featured in the Blog Mela. That could change once I am a millionaire but for now you'll just have to bear with me
- Yours truly reserves the right to nominate good posts which you ignore

How to Nominate
- Leave a comment on this post OR better still - Mail me at toeknee (at) gmail (dot) com

Delhi's new "all talk" radio station

Another new radio station in New Delhi. Yawn!

But 104.8 FM claims to be all talk and less music. This interactive chat show is now going through test runs.

I had my doubts but I tuned in anyway. RJs Tina and Gina were discussing how names can create perceptions. About how you are likely to think someone named Basanti is a bespectacled dodo. Tina wondered how filmi characters like Mogambo and Shakaal fared in school. Did the other kids rib them to death?

People kept calling up in between (a majority were men) - including a corporate sanyasi - and the two gals had a lot of fun trying out Punjabi accents and goofing around. What struck me was the informality of it all. These gals can do some serious yakking for a living.

And instead of tuning out the Tina-Gina gang, I listened to 104.8 for the next few hours.

The music (yes, they do have music sometimes) was different too. They kept playing a cappella tracks by the Penn Masala group. Refreshing stuff. And no ads. For now.

Tina and Gina left at 8 pm. And Bina and Leah took over. Just one question - Is the management hiring people with similar sounding names?

Radio Today (they were associated with 93.5 FM earlier) returns to the business with 104.8 FM. And apparently the new station is called Radio Meow! And why is that, I wonder.

Lots of new voices on the channel - Ginnie Mahajan (RJ Gina) may be the only experienced hand around (remember her in AIR Rainbow FM?). But I suggest you give 104.8 a try - you might end up liking this kind of radio.

Update: Fauji ka ladka Raj (real name Radio Today COO Anil Srivatsa) is having trouble fending off female admirers on his late night show - the dude with the sexiest-voice-on-radio is finding it tough to answer phone-in queries about his age and looks. I've a feeling he won't be able to handle all the attention.

RAVING ABOUT RADIO
Have you caught Fever 104 FM yet?
Aren't you addicted to Hit 95 FM?

Look before you woof

Sunita Vedhara looked out of her kitchen window. She often stood there admiring the view from her house in Newcastle, UK but today she was busy watching her two dogs. The two labradors, Ruby and Princess were in the garden, jumping up at the railing and barking at something on the other side.

'Karan, what are the dogs doing?'

No reply.

Sunita stopped to check the time - 9.30 p.m.

And went outside. As she stepped off the porch, she saw a young man on the other side of the fence. Growling and barking at her dogs.

That was strange enough but the next instant two police officers came up behind the lad and handcuffed him.

Sunita was nonplussed.

'Excuse me officers. Why are you arresting him?'

'A public order offence, ma'am. Barking at your dogs'

'But..'

(The above story is a fictionalised account of this news item)

Kyle Little, 19, was hauled off to jail in August 2006 for making canine noises at Sunita Vedhara's dogs. Prosecutors said Little had been abusive to police officers before he turned his ire towards Ruby and Princess.

Little was charged under the Public Order Act for causing harassment, alarm or distress to the dogs' owner, despite Sunita not making a complaint.

In January 2007, magistrates fined the teenager 50 pounds with a further 150 pounds in costs. The conviction was quashed by a judge last month. She remarked: "The law is not an ass."

This is what Sunita told reporters after the incident -

"He (Little) was messing about, being a daft young lad. We didn't want to see him prosecuted but the police said he was being taken to court, which we found surprising. The dogs weren't really upset by it at all."

Moral of the Story: And you thought Indians were crazy for raising a hue and cry over a kiss

Indians suck. Or do they?

Richard Gere kissed Shilpa Shetty. India flared up. Or did it?

Gere's interview to Jon Stewart prompted one YouTube user to comment that "Indians suck".

For many in the West, India still conjures up images of naked sadhus, elephants and prudes who can't stand the sight of people kissing.

Unfortunately, the media made it seem as if the whole of India was up in arms over the incident and Gere had escaped arrest by the skin of his teeth. But I look around and spot no rampaging mobs and no smouldering effigies.

People are least bothered about the incident and the poor judge in Jaipur who issued the arrest warrant against Gere is the laughing stock of his community. So what if a few hundred fanatics organised protests in a few Indian cities - it's still a few hundred out of a billion people, remember?

Indians do suck at some things (as do foreigners) but being prudes is not one of them. India is the land of the Kamasutra. And I guess we can tolerate kissing of any kind.

So Mr Gere, do come visit us whenever you can. You will surely be attacked - by a bunch of women offering you bouquets.

ALSO READ
SPOOF - CBI in New York to arrest Richard Gere
Will Richard Gere be extradited from the US?
Of Richard Gere, Shilpa Shetty and the Kiss that wagged a thousand lips

Australia win cricket World Cup. 30 minutes after they first won it.

The scoreboard announced it, the Aussies started celebrating and then the umpires said - Go and play 3 more overs in pitch darkness.

To sum it up, Australia made 281/4 in their allotted 38 overs before Sri Lanka ground to a halt at 206/7 in extremely bad light. Thanks to a rain delay, the South Asians had been set a revised target of 269 from 36 overs under the controversial Duckworth-Lewis system.

But confusion prevailed when Australia were declared champions three overs early. The Sri Lankans had apparently accepted an offer for bad light and therefore conceded the game. The umpires didn't quite agree.

The Lankan cricketers, who had already left the field, were recalled to finish batting in darkness punctuated in parts by the flashbulbs of irked spectators. Sri Lanka eventually ended up at 215 for eight allowing Australia to celebrate their World Cup victory. All over again.

Tournament referee Jeff Crowe later admitted that Sri Lanka had been mistakenly asked to return to play the final three overs. After all, they had already batted for a minimum of 20 overs.

Bizarre. Simply bizarre.

Will Richard Gere be extradited from the US?

Hugs and kisses don't hurt anyone. Or do they? Poor Richard Gere. There's a warrant out for his arrest. For hugging and kissing actress Shilpa Shetty at an AIDS awareness event in New Delhi.

A judge in Jaipur watched the video and ordered the 57-year-old actor's arrest for violating Indian laws against public obscenity. Gere now faces three months in an Indian jail or a fine or perhaps both.

Problem is Gere is currently in New York, busy promoting his latest flick The Hoax. His spokesman said the actor had no comment either on the incident or the Jaipur judge's ruling.

Which means Gere won't be too keen to come back to India and serve time in jail. Does that mean India will have to send an extradition request to have Gere behind bars? Highly unlikely.

And what of Shilpa Shetty? The Bollywood actress has been asked to appear before the Jaipur court on May 5. God knows what her punishment would be. After all, she didn't quite seem to resist Gere's advances.

ALSO ON THIS BLOG
Shilpa Shetty, Big Brother and life thereafter

What do you think?
	Gere should be arrested. This would teach him a lesson
	What rubbish! Dismiss the stupid case
	He's not at fault. Shilpa should have stopped him
	Hope US-India relations don't get too strained
pollcode.com free polls

AbhiAsh didn't quite help Liz Hurley

Poor Liz Hurley. Surely it was stupid to get married the same year as Bollywood's hottest couple. Miffed pop-in-law notwithstanding, Hurley and hubby Arun didn't quite stand a chance against the AbhiAsh juggernaut. Coz the wedding of Abhishek Bachchan and Aishwarya Rai generated enough buzz to keep the paparazzi busy and relegate Hurley's Jodhpur nuptials to the archives.

There is no dearth of drama when someone from Bollywood ties the knot and the AbhiAsh marriage was no exception. A woman by the name of Jahnvi Kapoor staged a suicide drama in front of the Bachchan residence, claiming that the Junior B had ditched her after having what she termed "physical relation". God alone knows what the truth is but it certainly appears as if Jahnvi is suffering from delusions.

That's not all, an Abhishek lookalike fooled star-struck security guards and walked right up to Aishwarya's eight-floor flat to convey his good wishes. He was caught else who knows - Aishwarya might just have married the wrong guy.

The media lapped up the controversy, even enjoying their share of the limelight when a couple of snap-happy photographers were thrashed by securitymen for coming in the way of a car ferrying the Bachchans. Senior Bachchan apologised the next day, giving the media another opportunity to play up the incident.

I bet Hurley's wishing she had harnessed media attention better. All you need is a divorce, Liz and another stint at Jodhpur so that you can learn from your mistakes.

Beauty and the Beast

As a child I used to believe that only the good-looking were nice people. The others were shrewd and existed on earth only to exploit you.

I thought it was God's way of helping man realise which of his peers could be trusted. And the formula was often put to the test.

Juggy, who had a particularly striking mole on his nose, was the one who bullied me the most. Prahlad, who was cute in a television commercial kind of way, helped me with my homework. And Ehsaas, who fell midway in the looks department, didn't bother me too much.

Then one day, I read Oscar Wilde's The Picture of Dorian Gray. This dude, who could easily have won a modern day personality contest, turned out to be such a horrible person.

Things changed after that.

I viewed all beauty queens with suspicion. Surely Aishwarya Rai had a painting hidden somewhere in her house which portrayed her as a hideous leper. Surely Sushmita Sen had bonded with the devil to keep her looks intact.

Years later, I still have no concrete idea how to gauge people. Sometimes I rely on the eyes to judge character. If kindness doesn't seep through the eyes or words, I usually wait for the inevitable moment when their actions harm me. Not a fool-proof test but it usually proves me right.

Beauty and Beast are now viewed with equal suspicion. Flawless cheekbones and scarred forehead are treated alike. Till they pass the kindness-in-eyes test and I begin to trust them. What do you think?

How can you gauge a person's character?
	Appearances can be deceptive
	Eyes are windows to the soul
	You can't trust anyone
	Philosophical crap
	By spending a year with them
pollcode.com free polls