India Blog Mela - October 2009

DoctorAtLarge is indulging in Sem(en)antics.

Great Bong writes in defence of Bengali men.

Silverine is going Oh My God!.

Ramesh Srivats brings us the Nobel Peace Prize behind the scenes.

Thomas is indulging in random chat.

Suchitra is impressed with the Mumbai police.

Krish Ashok is crowing about crows.

Annie saw the bad and the ugly.

Sidin is suffering the effects of retreebution.

Surkhi is trying to be a Punjtam.

That's all for now. The November 2009 Blog Mela returns early next month. But before leaving, do please vote for the best post in the October 2009 Blog Mela.



Did you just come across a quirky, interesting or something-that-tugs-at-your-heartstrings blog? If yes, feel free to nominate it for the November 2009 Blog Mela being hosted here on December 2.

HOW TO NOMINATE
- Leave a comment on this post OR better still - Mail me at toeknee (at) gmail (dot) com

RULES
- Posts must have been written by Indians or have an Indian angle
- Only posts published between 1-30 November 2009 would be accepted
- If possible, please nominate individual posts, not the whole blog
- Feel free to nominate something you have written. Immodesty appreciated
- You can nominate as many blog posts as you like - provided you really like them
- Only nominations received before midnight on December 2 stand a chance to be featured in the Top 10 list
- No, you don't get any moolah for nominating or getting featured in the Blog Mela. That could change once I am a millionaire but for now you'll just have to bear with me
- Yours truly reserves the right to nominate good posts which you ignore

PREVIOUS BLOG MELAS
2007
March, April, May, June, July, August, September, October, November, December
2008
January, February, March, April, May, June, July, August, September, October, November, December
2009
January, February, March, April, May, June, July, August, September

Sex and the Schoolboy

I looked up from my textbook. Harpreet, a gangly boy with a conspicuous red turban, was the only other student in the classroom. And he was talking to me.

"Do you know where babies come from?"
"What?"
"How babies come into the world?"
"From the stomachs of women"
"Yes, but before that"
"God puts them there"
"You are just a child," Harpreet sneered.

He looked around and then whispered in my ear.
"You have to put your pee-pee in a woman's pee-pee"
"Are you crazy?"
"Sex, they call it sex"

Pee-pees were usually an uncomfortable topic but I sat there transfixed by this revelation.

I had never felt the need to explore the origins of tiny little things that bawled at odd hours.

Someone (the nanny? a playmate? I don't remember) once told me that God put his finger in women's belly buttons and made babies grow. I had believed it. It never struck me why men didn't have babies -- after all, they too had belly buttons.

Suddenly, now it all made sense.

Harpreet looked triumphant. He had imparted forbidden knowledge to another human being.

"Today, you are all grown-up," he said, scratching the front of his red turban. "Now you know the secret."

I don't remember much about that day in the classroom. But this first conversation about sex seems to be imprinted in my mind.

It was years later that we had our first formal sex-education class. We had learned much more by then and the sex therapist who was invited to school had little new to tell us.

At the end of the session, he picked up chits from a bowl in which students had been invited to pose anonymous questions. And there was one question which stumped even the instructor.

"The hair on my head is growing like my pubic hair. Please help."

Dear 'Bigg Boss 3' Video Editor

We have a bone to pick with you over censorship of live footage from the Bigg Boss house each night.

We are seasoned 'Big Brother' voyeurs and claim the right to watch what really happens in the house at midnight.

We want to see every tear that rolls down Rohit Verma's cheek, every gesture Tanaaz Irani makes asking irritants to disappear, each side-splitting antic by Raju Shrivastav and every clichéd one-liner Kamaal R. Khan uses to woo Claudia Ciesla.

What we get instead in the live feed are close-ups of the fish pool, the garden seats, the jail, the gym treadmills and the futuristic furniture.

The Bigg Boss inmates are speaking, crying, laughing, sleeping nearby and yet you never reveal their faces or allow us to eavesdrop.

Are you falling asleep at your work station and missing the correct camera feed? Do drink a cup of coffee and pay more attention.

Mom is livid. She wants to catch hold of you and grind you into a million pieces to be mixed with tomorrow's breakfast chutney.

"Let me get my hands on the camera guy," she says, her hands gesturing in the air for that invisible neck -- your precious neck, Mr. 'Bigg Boss' Video Editor. So please be more careful.

Yours sincerely,

Disgruntled 'Bigg Boss 3' voyeur

To fast or not to fast

Mom doesn't like the concept of Indian women fasting on Karva Chauth for the long life of their husbands.

It's not that she's a feminist but after cooking and cleaning up after husband and two messy kids for thirty years, who isn't?

It isn't really cool for women to sit and starve at home while hubby dearest stuffs himself with samosas from the office canteen.

That's what Mom tried to tell her more traditional friends while helping them shop for silver bracelets on the eve of Karva Chauth.

"Okay, I get it. You want to fast. Fine. But at least get him to fast with you. Tell him to prove his love for you."

But to no avail.

The young mommies pretend to listen to Mom. And go back to their houses to watch 'The Perfect Bride' on television, eager to dress up in their Karva Chauth finery and swoon in their husband's arms.

Mom is irritated. Her FarmVille plot isn't doing too well. A certain someone is not following her on Twitter. And the neighbourhood mommies have all ignored her request.

I ask Dad if he ever wanted his wife to fast on Karva Chauth.

Before he could reply, Mom piped up from the kitchen.

"If he says yes, there wouldn't be any food on the table."

Dad didn't dare reply.

India Blog Mela - September 2009

After a week of battling the common cold and keeping my laptop at bay, I am back in the blogging business. Without further ado, here are the top 10 Indian (or India-related) blog posts for September 2009.

Surkhi is one in one thousand.

Great Bong gets nostalgic when it's that time of the year.

Silverine goes through the final diagnosis.

Rituparna is testing pink ka dumm.

Thomas is burger-crazy.

Suchitra is having a Q and A.

Krish Ashok does his take on the making of Mile Sur Mera.

Annie is rambling on self-indulgently.

Banno is fashionista Banno or an old horse with red reins.

Mudra has something for you while travelling on the Harbour Line.

And here's a bonus post by Jamshed. If you like ear hair.

That's all for now. The October 2009 Blog Mela returns early next month. But before leaving, do please vote for the best post in the September 2009 Blog Mela.



Did you just come across a quirky, interesting or something-that-tugs-at-your-heartstrings blog? If yes, feel free to nominate it for the October 2009 Blog Mela being hosted here on November 2.

HOW TO NOMINATE
- Leave a comment on this post OR better still - Mail me at toeknee (at) gmail (dot) com

RULES
- Posts must have been written by Indians or have an Indian angle
- Only posts published between 1-31 October 2009 would be accepted
- If possible, please nominate individual posts, not the whole blog
- Feel free to nominate something you have written. Immodesty appreciated
- You can nominate as many blog posts as you like - provided you really like them
- Only nominations received before midnight on November 2 stand a chance to be featured in the Top 10 list
- No, you don't get any moolah for nominating or getting featured in the Blog Mela. That could change once I am a millionaire but for now you'll just have to bear with me
- Yours truly reserves the right to nominate good posts which you ignore

PREVIOUS BLOG MELAS
2007
March, April, May, June, July, August, September, October, November, December
2008
January, February, March, April, May, June, July, August, September, October, November, December
2009
January, February, March, April, May, June, July, August

An even more embarrassing moment

Some give speeches with their flies undone. Others wear mismatched socks. I perform lap dances on unsuspecting women using public transport.

Inadvertently, of course.

It happened when I was 17 and returning home from school, weighed down by a bag that was bursting at the seams.

It must have been a pot-hole or the driver swerving to avoid a jaywalker, for whatever reason, the bus lurched and the jolt sent me sprawling across the laps of two middle-aged women.

For a split second, two pairs of eyes locked into mine. And then out of nowhere, their arms hit out at me, their mouths hurled abuse. I must have been heavy -- all 70 kilos of me.

I flailed about for support, but couldn't get up immediately, burdened down by the schoolbag on my back.

Eventually, I broke free and escaped to the back of the bus, unable to stem the stream of abuse that still poured from their lips.

And which part of all this embarrassed me the most? The fact that some passengers thought I did it deliberately.

RELATED POST
Most embarrassing moment

When Tony became Tara

Back in my Delhi University days, I used to do the rounds of college festivals, participating in the one event that I ever had any chances of winning -- creative writing.

At one such event, I registered with a girl sitting at the front desk, and she clearly had too much on her plate.

"Name?"
"Tony Tharakan"
"What?"
"T-H-A-R-A-K-A-N"
"Again please"
"Tharakan. T-H-A-R-A-K-A-N"

Tharakan is a fairly common surname in Kerala but in New Delhi, it never rolls off people's tongues as smoothly as it should.

An hour after the creative writing competition, the twenty-odd contestants gathered to hear the results.

The top prize had been won by Tara Khan. But no one came forward to collect the cash.

As the rest of us looked at each other, wondering who or where Tara Khan was, the lecturer-in-charge went through the list of participants, reading them aloud and ticking off the names of those present in the room.

I was not on that list. But the mysterious Miss Khan had the same registration number as my winning entry.

The problem was solved, I got the cash and Tara Khan was history.

ALSO READ: Tony Tattle

India Blog Mela - August 2009

Suchitra Krishnamoorthi encounters the casting couch.

Great Bong gives readers the lowdown on the Unputdownables.

Silverine went for a shotgun wedding of the Goan kind.

Mathew attends a hochzeit im Hamburg.

Ramesh Srivats is blogging about happenings in Pigland.

Kapil knows what brought on the drought.

Krish Ashok investigates the case of the attempted mango pickle kidnapping.

Thomas Sebastian is a power saver.

Banno is caught in rush hour.

Sidin muses on the alphabetical ardour of life.

That's all for now. The September 2009 Blog Mela returns early next month. But before leaving, do please vote for the best post in the August 2009 Blog Mela.



Did you just come across a quirky, interesting or something-that-tugs-at-your-heartstrings blog? If yes, feel free to nominate it for the September 2009 Blog Mela being hosted here on October 2.

How to Nominate
- Leave a comment on this post OR better still - Mail me at toeknee (at) gmail (dot) com


RULES
- Posts must have been written by Indians or have an Indian angle
- Only posts published between 1-30 September 2009 would be accepted
- If possible, please nominate individual posts, not the whole blog
- Feel free to nominate something you have written. Immodesty appreciated
- You can nominate as many blog posts as you like - provided you really like them
- Only nominations received before midnight on October 2 stand a chance to be featured in the Top 10 list
- No, you don't get any moolah for nominating or getting featured in the Blog Mela. That could change once I am a millionaire but for now you'll just have to bear with me
- Yours truly reserves the right to nominate good posts which you ignore

PREVIOUS BLOG MELAS
2007
March, April, May, June, July, August, September, October, November, December
2008
January, February, March, April, May, June, July, August, September, October, November, December
2009
January, February, March, April, May, June, July

And Delhi's favourite FM radio station is

The results are in. And the winner of the blog poll for Delhi's best FM radio station is 93.5 FM.

Red FM 'Bajaate Raho' is the flavour of the season, winning 38 percent of the votes polled on the blog. Radio City 91.1 FM was in second place with a fourth of the vote.

Full results here

Two years ago, the then newly launched Meow 104.8 FM was the surprise winner of this blog poll with 28 percent of the votes cast. Hit 95 FM finished in second place with 20 percent, just a vote ahead of Fever 104 FM.

RADIO TALK FROM THE ARCHIVES
Adam moos better than Amit Varma's cows
Delhi's "all talk" radio station
Getting high on Fever 104
Ten hits in a row, anyone?