The mere mention of Richard Gere makes most women go weak in the knees. Some would give an arm and a leg to touch the Pretty Woman star and many, I am sure, would have stooped at nothing to be in Shilpa Shetty's shoes at that magical moment on Sunday evening when Gere gathered the Celebrity Big Brother winner in his arms and smothered her with kisses. Shilpa didn't look too upset either - grinning from ear to ear when Gere finally released her from his embrace. The storm in a teacup became a whirlpool a few hours later when Gere was accused of hurting Indian sensibilities and protesters (many of them probably upset they can never dream of getting a chance to lay lips on Shilpa) busy burning effigies as self-appointed custodians of Indian culture.
But as everybody knows, there's no such thing as bad publicity. Toe Knee Unplugged takes a tongue-in-cheek look at what may happen in the near future -
Gere lawyer: Your honour, my client Richard Gere claims monetary damages from accused Shilpa Shetty
Shilpa lawyer: And may I ask why?
Gere lawyer: Well, while Gere's career has gone down the drain, the kiss controversy has given Shilpa's waning Big Brother fame a new lease of life
Shilpa lawyer: I object, Your Honour. Gere's recent films were duds in any case - Shilpa or no Shilpa.
Gere lawyer: Ok, I grant you that but didn't the episode bring Shilpa suddenly into the public eye and get her ads, films and charity show invites
Shilpa lawyer: And wasn't Shilpa's modesty - unruffled when Jade Goody called her a lot of @$#*%! names - outraged when Gere shifted gears a bit too fast
Gere lawyer: Many woman would pay to have Gere do stuff to them
Shilpa lawyer: Shilpa already had Dirk (Benedict). She doesn't need Gere to spice things up
Judge: Stop it, I pronounce both Gere and Shilpa guilty of making fools of themselves in public. Gere sentenced to three years of doing inane Bollywood films and an additional year for each kiss he steals from his leading ladies. Shilpa hereby banished to Hollywood for special classes in wardrobe malfunction (the Janet Jackson academy), being rich and crazy (the Paris Hilton school) and bald and beautiful (the Britney Spears institution)
Protester: But what of the truck drivers who witnessed the kisses? What of the mental trauma they had to undergo?
Judge: In addition, both Gere and Shilpa have to personally adopt each potential AIDS victim left unnoticed in the kissing brouhaha
Protester: Who cares about getting adopted? Each person present at the Sunday gathering (including me) should get a chance to kiss Shilpa, only then can justice be served
Spectators: Hear! Hear!
Update: A Jaipur court has ordered Gere's arrest saying his act of kissing Shilpa was an obscene act committed in public. Read more here
ALSO ON THIS BLOG
Exclusive coverage of Shilpa Shetty on Big Brother
And in case you are wondering what happened to the April Blog Mela, wait with bated breath for the next 24 hours.
Here is the video
ReplyDeleteLink .
vineet
Here is the Video Link
ReplyDeleteNice post! Very creative actually.
ReplyDeletewhoosh, it would have been quite a sight if that handsome devil had liplocked with shilpa.
ReplyDeletemethinks, shilpa need to pile on few pounds.
jm
Hahaha..The courtroom drama is hilarious!:-)
ReplyDeleteDid you look at the attire she wore to the AIDS awareness function? Can't really blame poor Richard for going overboard, can we? ;-)
Anonymous, Vineet: Thanks for the video links
ReplyDeleteSassy Satan: Thanks again. Constant praise may make me arrogant so do watch out
Anonymous: :) Methinks Shilpa is looking to lose the pounds she picked up eating desserts in London
smi: Looks like Richard was overpowered by her charms too
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For a society that has been deeply damaged by colonialism can one think of a more offensive image of a white guy grabbing a daughter of India and forcing himself upon her? It is so symbolic. It is right in line with the image of the white colonist forcing himself upon a country and just taking whatever he wants.
ReplyDeleteRichard Gere should pay the ultimate price for this.
What bothers me however is those who would blame Shilpa Shetty for this.
Too often women victims of rape in India are blamed for what happened like they wanted the rape to happen or it was their fault the rape happened even when the truth might be that the rapists brutalized them and they couldn't stop the rape from happening.
While of course Richard Gere didn't actually rape Shilpa Shetty, I still see this whole "Blame the Woman Victim" dynamic in place. From what I saw from the video Shilpa Shetty did nothing to cause Richard Gere to act the way he did, and was in fact as shocked as everyone else was that he would act in such a disgraceful manner.
We need to defend this daughter of India, not blame her for this white man's assault upon her.
This last message was just YUCK thinking!
ReplyDelete